Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
