What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
