great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
