so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
