i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
