You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
birth control should be required to get into college
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
