he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
