Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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