Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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