am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
