What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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