So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
