ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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