I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
