There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize