after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
