Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
