she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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