Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
