I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
