no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
