suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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