What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
