on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
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