And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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