I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
