How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
