You made me cry and you don't even care
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
