You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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