How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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