Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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