Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
