i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Just pee around me
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
