i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize
