is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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