Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
