girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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