Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
