Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
