I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize