meet me or not, i'm out of control
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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