Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
