I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
