Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Randomize