Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
