Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize