Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
