I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
