He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
