CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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