WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize