OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize