we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
