We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
