no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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