so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
