I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
