just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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