Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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