I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
