i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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