when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
