how hairy? two words: wookie tits
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
