i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
