After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
