We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
